I want to tell my story so other parents don't get discouraged as I have many times and give up as I wanted to at many points. Instead I kept saying "I am the only one who will advocate for my child and I can't give up on my child."
So I kept on, got mocked by family and friends and even my spouse. They said I was babying my son, enabling him, making excuses for him, and on & on. It honestly had me in tears many days. Feeling like there is just no hope for my son to learn and succeed is the worst feeling in the world.
For me, it was worse because my child was bright- No Joke- and no Parent Opinion- He was and is a BRIGHT :CHILD- able to learn beyond limits!
This is his KINDERGARTEN STAR READING TEST!
Follow as I will be adding to this all week- I have emails and lots of inside info to share with you guys!
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| His first day of Middle School- The downward spiral began (not that we didn't struggle before) |
My emails only go back to 2010 so the words I share in quote from teachers will be from end of 5th grade on.
A little history on my first born. He was born big and a bit early lol. 10.4 pounds. I never wanted to have kids or so I thought as I really wasn't sure what kind of mother I would be as my upbringing was lacking in empathy and love so to speak.
I seemed to be great with kids however, other peoples kids of course.
Working at a Montessori pre-school was my first real experience with children that weren't related to me and I loved it. College seemed so out of reach for me but eventually I made it work and began going to school to be a teacher.
Surprise! I was pregnant and finished that fall semester of 2009 thinking having a baby would be a breeze and I would return for the Winter semester. Well, Guess what? I was sooooo wrong.
Emergency c-section and a non-sleeping baby led me to not go back so soon.
He NEVER SLEPT. HE CRIED ALL THE TIME. He threw up all of his formula!
However, he did everything else early and seemed to be oddly smart for a baby and toddler.
This toddler watched the news and Wheel Of Fortune. He talked like a mini grownup and loved to converse with adults.
At three years old he began putting words together and before age 4 he was reading books that most Kindergartner's would be reading. Reading Encyclopedias, Newspapers, Magazines, and everything around him was his favorite thing. There were many days I just wished he would be a regular little boy. I was very fortunate to later go back to school just long enough complete my Associates and a little more. Substitute teaching was my new favorite job. I also was able to work the before and after school program at the school I was substituting at. My son was able to be with me for most of this. He was smart but we were able to get him into the Pre-school program at that school which was 1/2 day 4 days a week at that time. We were hoping pre-school would help him learn to get along with kids his own age. It really didn't produce the results we had hoped for but there were good days and bad. He had horrible night terrors and sometimes would say the most off the wall things for a 4 year old. So therapy it was. We were sent to get him evaluated and of course he was super bright blah blah blah, but that didn't help us make our little boy fit into school better. He spent most of Kindergarten in a desk in a corner. His folders came home full of sheets not completed but with great drawings on the back. I asked him if anyone ever noticed he wasn't completing the worksheets. His response "No, they never come to check on me so I just draw on the backs of all of them." And this was pretty much how Elementary school went. We were allowed to switch schools in the district due to some very inappropriate situations in Kindergarten and an embarrassing health issue.
He didn't ever really make any close friends in Elementary school and had some bullying situations he didn't deal with so well.
Then the Math Block happened and this is where we will begin.
"Please, Please, Please ok I'm begging you to help your child with their multiplication facts. So many do not have them memorized and it really hinders their ability to do 2-digit multiplication. We are starting division Monday and you absolutely have to know your facts in order to divide. It is really surprising how many students are struggling with remembering their facts but ask them the words to a song or how to play a video game and NO PROBLEM! :-)" From 5th Grade Teacher December 2010
My Email Response
"Just a note about multiplication, and I know he should have them down
but the battle to get him to sit down and write them is impossible, bought
the multiplication raps and all that. The problem since it seems to be so
many of them is probably 3rd grade. I have been a sub. teacher for
10 years and was applauded when he was in 3rd to see they did the test
on each number and if they passed they went to next. Of course Gordon
passed his the first time on all and then nothing. They did nothing else with
them at all. In my day we wrote them and used them even after the
memorization tests. You cant remember what you don't use. Then
4th grade came and they immediately jumped into division so they saw
the kids didn't know so instead of doing some drills in class there was no
time so they let them use cheat sheets which just delayed the memorization.
It's hard to go back when all the things they are doing now require them to
know it so they have to either do it with help or not at all. Maybe spending
some time each morning writing the facts the old fashioned way would help.
Other schools are still doing that but feel 3rd grade really made them miss
out on an important mile stone. Should have really been using the facts
not just going through the tests.
And yes I still pester Gordon all the time that he has to remember
them but its a battle like every thing else."
From Me to Teacher 12/5/2010
I will add other noteworthy email tidbits to the bottom
of this Blog as I really
of this Blog as I really
want to dig in and give parents the information they
need to get their kids
need to get their kids
help if needed and school is not helping.
Pay attention:
"What is RTI?" I asked when they wanted to put my 6 year old in it for reading.
She can read just fine and honestly better then her older sister did at this level.
Her sister was never sent to RTI. When I asked the teacher if my 6 year old had read
to her or if she was just being her stubborn self and not allowing anyone to hear
her read she responded with " When Izzy took the STAR Reading test she
scored at the 6th percentile. This score will allow her to have some
extra help with Reading. She is reading for me and is doing fine at
this point. She often has difficulty staying focused and it is possible
that contributed to her low score on the test. We will work with her
and retest her soon." received 08/26/2016
Hmmmmm.. What is this RTI? Is it just for the Elementary level?
Is it just for Reading? My first grader is a LOT like my 16 year old son.
Behavior was something they both struggled with and they are both
STUBBORN as HELL!
Why was RTI never offered to him and
WHY THE HECK is my first grader who the teacher knows can
read on level receiving these services??????
The Darn TEST SCORE! HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL those test
scores are like JESUS ALMIGHTY to the School Boards.
Unfortunately for my 16 year old son- those tests were something
he was VERY VERY good at and even scored perfect in a few areas
while failing in the classroom. Therefore, I am guessing that is why
there was no RTI for him all these years.
Response to Intervention (RTI) is a multi-tier approach to the early identification
and support of students with learning and behavior needs. The RTI process begins
with high-quality instruction and universal screening of all children in the
general education classroom.
Now on to how this is Relevant to my current situation with son.
After Battling Freshman year - Sophomore year- and now his 2nd Sophomore
year I am just fed up with the amount of help available in class and out
of class for kids who "Don't get it", especially with MATH!
So, he is really trying this year. He lost his permit because of his grades. The
motivation seems to be there but the skills in math are not. Years of passing with
a D but little knowledge has now come to a screeching wreck. I know and he now
realizes he can go no further in math without getting some real help.
I was so proud of him for asking questions in class. It was sad though to hear
his version of his teachers response. "I can't slow down for one student." "We
have a lot to cover so you will have to go to after school tutoring" and on and on.
I then asked him "Do you want me to contact her?" He said "No, I will take
care of it." I had been told that I was enabling his laziness so many times
I was tempted to leave it there but I didn't.
However, he did get the teacher to email me the info on after school tutoring.
here are those emails.
08/24/21016
Hello, I’m the site coordinator of the 21st Century Program at the high school. I received a referral
on Gordon from Mrs. Skipworth. She stated that he is struggling in Algebra 2, I offer homework help
and tutoring Monday thru Thursday after school and think he could really benefit from it. Hopefully
we can get him on board and arrange a time for him to start coming.
My Response,
Yes I've been waiting for your message he definitely needs to come as much as he can it will be
hard for me to drive all the way out there and pick him up all the time but I'm willing to do it if it
helps him. He is very very bright and gifted but for some reason math is his weakness and he actually
failed geometry and almost failed Algebra 1. We had taken him to Sylvan to try to get him caught up
the summer before high school and they had him at around fifth grade math level. That seems to be
where he got really lost and just glided through class is barely passing. Just let me know when he can
start. Sylvan is crazy expensive though so we couldn't complete the program with them.
Her Response,
He can start today if you’d like for him to, We operate Monday they
Thursday after school 3:10-5:10 and Tuesday thru Friday before school 7-7:50
We are 14 miles One Way from the High School
about a 20 minute drive if traffic is good but we do have to go through Mall traffic to get
to the school. Its not a convenient spot or area I would be at for any other reason
My car gets 13 MPG on a good day lol.
So to pick him up from tutoring we are talking about 30 miles in high traffic time at the mall.
That's about $5 in gas for that trip per day. ($20 a week)
Is it doable? YES, but I have 2 other children with things too and its most certainly not easy but
I would def. do it if it was truly beneficial. But if you have ever ridden in the car with my 2 girls you
would avoid any unnecessary trips if at all possible. It is kind of like having Tom & Jerry in the car.
Next we get the MIDTERM! Everything is looking up except for that F in Algebra 2.
I now know I have to step in.
Sent 09/06/2016 To House Principle, Counselor for his house, and Principle of School
Yes, we are like Harry Potter lol, and YES, I highly suggest you send all emails to the
school this way so you know that everyone who NEEDS to know is getting the email.
Someone please help find out how to get my son Gordon past these math classes.
I know there are kids who no way in the world could pass algebra 2 etc. .. like my son
as they are even more blank but play sports. How do they pass. We cant drive 15+ miles
to and from MCHS for tutoring all the time. The time and cost just isn't workable for us right now.
His teacher seems very fast and has told him this is the easiest chapter of the year.
So if he didnt pass Geometry and now he is in the hurry and pass take apex tests to get
through it class and simutaniously taking algebra 2 and failing where does this put him?
Does anyone care if he passes? What can we do before this becomes another wasted
year of high school? Is there a slower class with a more helpful teacher? He knows
people in another class who are two chapters behind where his class is so I'm assuming
there is. He doesn't get it and is really putting effort in and has even asked questions
several times in class I'm told only to be shot down, " if you need help stay after school".
"we can't go slow for one or two people" are just 2 of the responses I have heard she gave.
What happened to "there are no stupid questions?". Where are the teachers who want to
"teach" and take pride in seeing their students get it.
Note to Readers
(Yes, I am not the most eloquent of writers but an angry desperate mom.)
First Response from House Principle
(Her and I have bumped heads and Honestly many do not have a good opinion of her)
09/06/2016
Mrs. Powers--
Great to hear from you this afternoon. We can try to find the solutions that Gordon needs.
As far as after-school tutoring, we do offer a shuttle bus. Many students take advantage
of this tutoring, Mon-Thurs. 3:10-4:10. The library is then open for studying until 6:00,
when the shuttle bus arrives (app. 5:50).
Gordon might have mentioned that I often visit his math class. I've observed that
Mrs. Skipworth is very helpful answering student questions and checking for student
understanding. I know that Mrs. Skipworth would hate that Gordon feels this way--
she is a quite caring teacher who is concerned about her students' learning.
I will arrange tutoring for Gordon within the school day. This will occur during
5th block. Please realize that he will need to makeup any work missed in his Ag class,
and he should also still consider the after-school help.
As always, I appreciate your concern and support.
The email was also forwarded by house principle to the Algebra 2 teacher.
She called me that evening.
Yes, she seemed very pleasant and willing to help. She did not disagree
with any information Gordon had passed on to me.
She said that Algebra 2 is the Junior State Test focus and that if any other classes
are going any slower they are risking not getting all the information that will be
on the test covered.
INSERT STEAM BLOWING OUT EARS HERE!!!!
There is is folks, that test again. The all important test.
I really don't blame the teachers. I honestly think most are doing what
they believe they have to to keep their jobs.
She was nice and told me more about the after school tutoring and said sometime
she might be able to stay but not much. I asked if there was a slower class for kids
who are not good with the fast pace and she said no that they should all be the same.
Next email came from House Counselor. She is a Sweetie.
09/07/2016
Good morning, Mrs. Powers! I'm sorry Gordon is falling behind in his math class already.
It sounds like Mrs. Kaye has set up something during the school day to help. As she mentioned,
our after school tutoring program is wonderful as well; it offers help in many classes other than
math too. If you'd like more information, feel free to contact Jesse Byrd
at ********
On a positive note, Gordon passed Alg I. Alg II is a continuation of that. The Geometry he failed last
year should not play a part in his comprehension of the Alg II material. I also, ditto what
Mrs. Kaye says about Mrs. Skipworth. She is fabulous. Have you spoken with her yet?
She might be able to give you a good insight on what's going on in class.
She is great about responding to emails.
Her email address is ********
if you'd like to get in touch with her as well.
Hopefully things will turn around in there and he will keep the positive attitude
you mentioned before school started.
If he passes his two block classes, he will be a junior after Christmas.
If he passes all of his classes this year and makes up two credits in credit recovery
then he will be a senior next year.
My in my head response lol,
I disagree about the continuation but my opinion doesn't count. When you have just barely
passed math with the lowest D's possible for years you have not really left with the knowledge
you need to go to the next class right?
Now Gordon is scared about being pulled out of his 5th hour and getting behind in there
as that is one of those classes he needs to pass to be a junior after Christmas. We know
he needs the Math help more but what to do?......
Then the BOMB of an email came that made me cry tears of JOY and relief, but I was still angry.
Email from random person I have never heard of-
09/09/2016
I just wanted to let you know that I will be working with Gordon every Friday for an hour
during 5th period for Math RTI. Currently in his Algebra II class he understands what
they are doing now, but I will go back and review with him before the 1st quarter exam.
Today, I am helping him with his Geometry. I just wanted to touch base with you and if you
have any concerns to let me know.
Looking at my husband with literal TEARS! So Happy! Then I stopped and said out loud
in my house.
"WTF, they have RTI in HIGH SCHOOL? You mean they had something set up that could have
helped him all 3 of these years and he could have had a much more positive experience in
high school? Ummmmm, why has no one told me of this before. I have been very active
with emailing and contacting school when he started slipping.
Sorry for the language but I am now PISSED!
I want to let you know what I sent back and encourage ANY Parents in these type of school
battle situations to do. ALWAYS thank those in the school be it RTI Coordinators whom we
never knew existed, or Teachers, or Tutors, anyone who has been even the slightest bit
helpful. Let them know what they do matters so they stay encouraged and keep on keeping on.
Sent from me
09/08/2016
I just want you to know I am about in tears of joy over this.
I have been pleading and asking for help since middle school and
I am so thankful to have finally broken open a door to help my son.
Thank You Thank You Thank You!
Her response
Well you just made my day too! Happy Friday!
We did one quiz in Geometry, then worked on solving equations and absolute value equations
since he will still have the 1st quarter exam. He has access to IXL now so he can use that for
extra practice at home too!
Thanks again.
He came home feeling way better and confident about math.
He stayed one day after school for Tutoring. While waiting in the Library the librarian, a
former Math teacher who obviously should be in the MATH classroom helped him on her own.
As soon as he got in the car he said " I don't think my teacher knows what she is doing because in
about an hour Mrs. Wright helped me understand everything I didn't."
WOW AGAIN! And I found her on Facebook as her sons have gone to school with my son
since first grade. I messaged her a big thanks and this was her response.
No problem!! I'll be staying tomorrow after school if he needs more help. This year I've taken the position
of librarian so if he ever has quick questions he can pop in there!
How sweet and encouraging is that!
So since his day of after school tutoring and his one 5th hour Friday with RTI he has not
had to stay after. He says he is understanding for now.
WOW!
So Today I got a text from my son. 09/15/2016
It was just a picture. I was laying down napping (not really I was on my phone lol) because
my husband works midnight shift and I just lay down a bit with him to say we saw each other.
Here is the picture!
60/60 is like ONE HUNDRED OMG- Woke husband up and showed him
and we are both so excited no napping was happening for sure.
The last test he had in Algebra 2 he missed EVERY SINGLE QUESTION!
I'm so glad we found some sort of solution before my son became a
Drop out or something. The school literally had me doubting his intelligence
and ability to learn.
From missing every one to perfect! I don't usually like texts during school but look what
my bub just sent me!!!
📣. One class period of RTI And one awesome tutoring session
📣. One class period of RTI And one awesome tutoring session
with librarian ( former math teacher). Got him caught up so really says A lot about his
"nice" ( as she is) algebra 2 teacher he has now. She had weeks but said she has to
get all the info covered and can't slow down. Parents!!!
Advocate for the school to
use ALL it's resources if your child is struggling -.
They have the resources!!! I only hadto fight mchs 2.5 years to get them for
my kid and this is proof he just needed a little help- a teacher to focus on his
questions for an hour. How many other kids in these math classes are floating
by barely passing do you think?
Yay for us, and I want it to become YAY for all families in this situation!
I have a first grader now that I feel is going to be the same battle but now
that I know a bit more of what the school offers it will help.
My son played football Freshman year. Many will argue with this but I KNOW
it happened. They offer help in any way for players who are struggling with grades.
The school is on board with it and it was offered to Gordon and others that year.
Not to put anyone down, I knew there were STAR players who were on that field every
game who in no way could pass these same classes Gordon was failing.
My son could learn and I had seen and interacted with some others who I didn't
feel had that same ability but weren't considered special needs either. They were
passing. They were Juniors in fact. I want EVERY thing that's available to those
athletes available to my kids don't you?
Its sad we have to dig these programs out as if they are hidden for special people only.
I can't dwell on it too much right now as I have to cheer him on but know that there
are programs. The schools most definetely need to do a better job of identifying
students like mine, who CAN LEARN but for some reason the classroom or teacher or their
methods are not working and the student is failing. They need to reach out and offer
every service available to these families and not make them dig and cry.
Our family has suffered greatly with the arguing over grades and more for years
that we didn't have to.
Its great that some families, whom have commented on my many rants and
social media posts don't have these problems nor do they see this side of the school.
Yay for You! Your child is the one who fits nicely into public school. The one who
doesn't cause too much trouble and doesn't struggle much with academics.
But Families Like mine exist.
How many students are being missed and looked over or like my son being
considered a problem student when in fact he needed a little encouragement and
access to the programs the school already had in place.
If you know of more programs besides RTI please link them in the comments so I can add
them as I want EVERYONE to have this info to present to their school if they are
hitting brick walls like I did.
I will add other pertinent emails below this week but I wanted this info to be at the top
so it can start being used to inspire other families now.
" He didn't have his math so had to miss recess. They had 2 days to get it finished. Gordon and I had a heart to heart yesterday about his effort at school. He is doing the bare minimum and has a bad habit of throwing away papers that he needs." From Teacher 5th Grade Feb. 16 2011
Email in April of 2011 to 5th grade teacher
Update on Gordon, Result from x-ray shows our clean out efforts have worked,
now the challenge is keeping him that way, I'm hoping he will continue to
go to the bathroom well, they are putting him with a psychologist to try to
help him develop a better habit and they believe it may have been caused
by his bad experience in Kindergarten, which is why we switched to Lone Oak.
When he had accidents he was really embarrassed publicly by a teacher,
sprayed his desk with lysol while he was in it in front of class, Moved to hallway
and told him he nauseated her, put his items in big black trash bag in hall in front
of other students, and more. So glad we were allowed to come to Lone Oak to
give him a fresh start and so glad for him that he had you for a teacher.
Teachers really have a big impact on their students and we have seen the
good and the really bad in this case.
Thanks for showing so much compassion with Gordon and his behavior and
condition this year.
That's all I will go into about his early condition that was horrible
to deal with through Elementary school.
Email to Math Teacher 08/19/2014
My Son is Gordon Powers- He is in your class this year. I was wondering
when the after school math help would begin and on what days. He really
struggles with math and was very upset at not getting his done in class
yesterday when everyone else seemed to breeze through it- He has made f's
consistently through middle school in math while being great at all other
subjects. We had him tested at Sylvan last year so we could get him caught
up before high school - They put him at a 5th grade math level which I
knew because that is when his math f's
started- But the sylvan plan they suggested was $700 a month- so we tried
to just do half of that but it was still too much of a financial burden.
If you have any other suggestions let me know.
Teacher Response ( and I did have mad respect for this teacher- she really
wanted her students to succeed_)
Thanks for your email. I really appreciate you letting me know.
Last year we had tutors that helped students out who were struggling with math
everyday (except Friday) right after school in the library. I haven't heard the plan
for that this year. I will check on it for you. In the meantime, I don't mind helping
Gordon maybe one day after school each week. I can't stay tomorrow because I
have a doctor's appointment, but Thursday I can stay. Just let me know if that is
something he would like to do. I will let you know when I hear something about
the other tutoring. Thanks again and have a great day!
Sent to Principle 08/26/2014
My son Gordon Powers just got his macbook today and its filthy and gross- but that is not the main issue-
I have a niece who is a senior and she has told us some of what will be expected to be done on the computer
(even though her mac is not in good shape and has to be on charger to be in use as it does not hold charge ,
which seems unreasonable for her to have to find an outlet in classes just to be able to use) but My son nor I
have ever used a Mac- And he is hearing teachers throw out terms like dropbox this and that and he has no clue
where to begin. So I have to ask is there not a planned introduction for kids to learn how to properly use these
laptops so its actually helpful and useful?
Email sent to Principle 09/02/2014
Sorry to have to be writing but after the first day my sons Mac broke would not come on and is now in the
pile waiting to be fixed my only concern and his concern is the teachers are still assigning things that have
to be done on the computer and he does not have one I really don't care if he gets one or not but if the
teachers are going to require them to do assignments on them they need to stop until every student has
a working computer I hope you understand our concern but he is stressing out about this and I am just
trying to help
Principles response
|
My Observaton - The teachers were never helpful when questions were asked
about how to use the laptops-
about how to use the laptops-
Sent to History Teacher 09/18/2014
Gordon missed one day and I am not thinking that is why he has
a GaZillion Zeros in all classes- Thinking he may fail 9th grade- not sure
how to dig him out at this point- I have been telling him to get what he
needs to get these 0's turned in and he says he has but I am not sure
what I can do.
a GaZillion Zeros in all classes- Thinking he may fail 9th grade- not sure
how to dig him out at this point- I have been telling him to get what he
needs to get these 0's turned in and he says he has but I am not sure
what I can do.
Response from History Teacher-
Just to let you know
__Gordon__is missing assignments for their Military History class.
Please look on Infinite Campus. The assignments listed as a 0.
You can go to my website for details on the requirements for these assignments.
Here is the url
These assignments are in class assignments and
If they do not finish that day they may take home to finish.
They are failing to turn in these assignments when due.
They may turn them in for a late grade.
At this time their grade is
49 .
Their grade will improve when assignments are turned in.
My Response-
I have spoke to Gordon, He just got his Macbook This Wednesday-
He said you insist on having all papers typed and then sent to your dropbox,
Correct? (I am hoping I am getting the correct story from him). So he is
going to have to catch up this weekend but I am not sure its fair that he does
not get full credit as he should not be penalized for not having a macbook.
Principle Ceglinski assured me that his grades would not be affected but it
seems they are. Please let me know if Gordon is misleading me about
these Zero assignments cause he was under the impression that you would
not accept them handwritten and that he would not lose credit for waiting to
get his macbook (that I had to beg and Scream for him to get one this week).
