Saturday, March 26, 2016

Moms in Da' Club

Are you a mom in Da'Club?  See Some Cool Moms Here
No, I am not speaking of Twerking in an actual club.  Twerking- if you dare
 Nor am I suggesting that's what I do, even though some say I can still get Jiggy with it.
I am speaking of "the club" one becomes part of when they start a new journey in life.
Having kids, starting a new job, learning a new hobby, etc...
But for some it becomes more of an OBSESSION.
Your kid plays Baseball, Your now in the "Baseball Mom Club"
Your kid is in theatre classes, Your now in the "Theatre Mom Club"
You are a Stay at Home Mom, Your now in the "SAHM Club"
I have experienced this and even caught myself sliding into one of these clubs before, then I felt the SLAP!
I was almost in the "Dance Mom Club" and it was not pretty there.  Some of those moms are very competitive. 
Then I was almost a part of the "Theatre Mom Club" and thank goodness I didn't stay because it got a little strange in there. 
As a Grown up, and a Mom, its sometimes hard to find a core group of friends if you did not have a strong bond with former High School or College friends.  You feel alone and you crave that phone conversation (do people still talk on the phone?) with someone who "GETS YOU".
The few times I felt close to having that kind of friendship again, they joined a Mom Club.
Yes, it happens.
A couple of clubs I have witnessed that suck you in like a Tornado are:
The I adopted from another Country Club
The I Home school Club
The I Drink Wine Club
( I am sorry but I just don't get this one, I have never drank wine in my life, so I guess that's why I am not in that club)
The Booster Mom/PTO club
and Finally
The I do everything with my husband club
If you have friends who have recently gone to the "MOM CLUB" side, I am sorry. 
 This may be a lonely time for you unless you decide to jump on board.
Remember, however if you jump on board and aren't fully committed your going to hate the ride.  It will not be the Fun Club your friend made it out to be, instead it will be like your in a room with fanatics who only think about one thing, talk about one thing, and get excited about one thing.
I have often been in these situations.
When you meet someone and totally mesh, you want to start hanging out but how do you ask?
  You have no idea of what Mom Club they are in just yet. 
Then you reach out to make plans such as a Picnic with the kids. 
Wait for it......
"I can't my husband works." 
You try to make plans another day,  same answer.
OH SHIZ!   She must be in the "I don't do anything without my husband club".
Really!  Who does that?  My husband works too, and while I hate doing things alone I can most certainly appreciate some girl time when he is working.
So that friendship of course fizzled even though we would have been great friends I am sure, if only her husband didn't have to work.
If you have an Old friend who you think will be your friend forever, through thick and thin, through any storm, lets hope they don't adopt a child.  This seems to be one of the STRONGEST Mom Clubs I have ever seen. 
They follow one another to Churches, schools, and even other countries. 
You may have lived in a town for 20 years and never knew exactly who had adopted children and who didn't, because you weren't in the club.  Now that your friend has done the deed, that is most likely all she will talk about.  She will online chat, blog, travel, and have tons of new friends.  All of course will have adopted.   She will strike up conversations about the lawyers and paperwork etc... and your just standing there like "Ummm I'm not in this club, remember me?"  So another friendship fizzled.  
Now we are to the School Years and that means the PTO Club.  The moms who seem to have nothing else to do but spend all day in the school sucking up to the teachers.  I don't know about you but when my 3rd child went to Kindergarten I cried for a few days and then I celebrated.  Time for myself for a bit between the doctor appointments, teacher phone calls (my kids are bad), and life in general.  I have nothing against volunteering at the school.  Its something I have actually wanted to do but when I try those ladies in that Damn club intimidate me.  Some of them are down right bossy!  They even campaign for offices in the PTO before the ballot boxes are out.   The last meeting I attended was the last straw for me.  We are planning Derby Day for the 2nd grade.  My daughter was so excited for this day and insisted I be a part of the planning committee.  She knew my crafty mind would be great, and I thought so too.  It would be my way into the "PTO Mom Club".  The meeting was packed.  I walked into the library like the new kid walks into the lunch room not knowing where to sit.  The meeting began and they started naming the duties that needed to be spoken for.  This was the most eager group of women I had ever seen.  I would slowly raise my hand but they would choose someone else.  Then they would have a conversation about how great she was at last years task and Blah Blah Blah.  My forehead began to sweat as I started to realize they all knew one another.  I'm sitting there thinking "Where do these ladies meet, How do they all know one another?"  Each time a task came up the hands went flying and mine was ignored.  Finally Derby Day Hats!   This was the one I really wanted.  My hand went up- but so did the other Moms who were obvious members.  My heart sunk.  I'm sitting here ready to help but didn't seem like they really needed me.  They had their core club members there and they knew who was good at what.  I have come to the conclusion that you might have to start at the lowest rank in this club.  The clean up crew or an extra till you prove yourself.  Unfortunately I hate taking orders.  I choose to lead or work alone so this is definitely not the club for me. 
On to the next club.
I got a little desperate this time.  My daughter was taking dance.  I spotted another mom in the waiting room.  She seemed kind of shy but I was drawn to her.   Later I realized we had went to the same high school.  We had a few passing comments and when the waiting room was empty except for us she would talk a bit more.  I told my niece,  "I think I like her."  And then I had to find a way to ask her on a mom date. 
I knew she home schooled from listening to a few of her conversations.  I then assumed she did not work.  My heart broke when I realized she worked as I knew it would be harder to schedule a play date.  By the end of Dance season our families were meshing.  When my dancer thought she might not want to do dance again it almost broke my heart.  How would I be in the "Dance Mom Club" if I wasn't a dance mom?  But, I finally got her talked into it and we were back in dance.  Unfortunately my soon to be friend had joined the competitive team,
like a desperate mad woman  ( and against my husbands wishes) I joined too.  It was EXPENSIVE, Time Consuming, and not my thing.  Through the season our friendship grew.  It was a very hard decision at the end of season to not do dance even though I knew I was risking my new friendship and be kicked out of the Dance Mom Club.
Guess What?  
We are still Besties. 
Seems Real Friendships can weather the Clubs if your True friends.  You end up spending a lot less time together since Moms tend to spend all of their time on their kids and the events and activities their kids choose.  But after feeling rejected or left behind the many Mom Clubs before I am satisfied with having One Good Mom Friend who Gets me and my kids.  We are a Unique Bunch I have to say.
 P.S.  This is all coming from my real, sometime super EXAGGERATED experiences- but know I have an anxious, non-trusting, over analyzing mind lol.   Do not be offended by my sarcastic view of the world. 
Please comment below with the "Mom Clubs" you have had good or bad experiences with.
and support some great MOM Businesses here-  You don't even have to be in the Club!  Shop here
Here are some of my favorite Club members-  some I gave birth too and some I did not! 
Follow Me to hear more about My Crazy life experiences raising kids, living through adultery, and so much more! 


  1. Who knew real life would be just a bigger version of High School? The high school "clicks" have become the real world "clubs". Sometimes I feel like Goldilocks. This one is too snobby, this one is to crazy, etc. Although I have become a member of clubs, I don't ever feel fully comfortable or committed. My only advise is for you to keep being you and let people want to join your club, because you are awesome.

  2. This year was my son's first year playing football and I too was sucked into the "mom club" until some of the other woman started talking about kids on the team

  3. Dance mom's club she's little enough that there's no trouble but you the bond that alot of the moms have

  4. I totally get what you are saying here. And Lena is also correct....It went from high school clicks to adult clicks that are sometimes just as bad if not worse than the high-school ones. I just keep to myself. My baby and I "do our own thing".

  5. We are baseball mom club here! Love sports played 8 years on a softball team now my kids are following my lead :) happy mommy here.

  6. We are baseball mom club here! Love sports played 8 years on a softball team now my kids are following my lead :) happy mommy here.


WE WANT TO KNOW! If your interested in becoming a member of our #TeamCrafty click on our Form. Needing more info- Simply message us. Feel free to share the link with any Crafty Friends you know. Also, check out our Blog: Lots of great topics will be featured that Moms will love and relate to, along with Contests, Reviews, Giveaways, Tutorials, and more. Follow MommyUnfiltered so you don't miss a thing!